Thoughts that written by ordinary woman who has been through lots in her life. There are the ups, the downs and the hurdles, but I manage. Through all that, I just lay my life to God. For the fun parts, I love dancing ( hip hop, street and LA style ), books, movies, eating, food, and just sleep!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Greater Help

In the process of reaching peace, I got a greater interference from God and here's what I learned...
God didn't promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain,
but he did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears,
and light for the way.

Thank you for giving the strenght for me to carry this life.

Email For him?

I wrote an expectation...just I feel so peaceful after reading my friend's quote

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

The quote above was taken from my friend's facebook status and it caught my eye for it. That quote somehow right. We are all looking for happiness. I have been trying to find reasons to be happy. What things which make me happy ( especially for my soul )?

This quote made me realize again, I don't have perfect life but yes..I definetely decide to look beyond the my imperfections life! Thanks Wid for the quote!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Different Perspective

Once I read a quote like this : You can't change your life but you can change your perspective about life.

A different perspective! Hmm..what's this? Life can't be changed, sometimes we create that life. Well, if I look at myself after the break up, I'd say it's massively sucks. And takes a courage to see this matter in different perspective.

What's my perspective now? Things happens for a reason. That was my first initial realization. Then comes there must something I can learn from this.
And my perspective towards this break up is totally change. I begin to accept this my learning process. Learning to let go, learning to be stronger, train myself for what coming next, learning to be a fighter, the list can go on and on and on...but most important lesson, I learn to forgive.

After looking in different perspective, then it's not so bad after all. At least it eases the pain, I still think about him though but in good way..well it's his loss anyway....I deserve better.

So damn proud of myself....*big smile*
Behind every difficult person you meet, there's always lesson to be learned

Sunday, March 22, 2009

It's Not Easy

Though I have found peace, does not mean I don't miss him..I DO !!!! It's not easy to forget someone when we still have feelings.

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.The stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again.The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.Love is unconditional, relationships are not.For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.

I hope you know.......

Then I Found Peace...

Took about few hours later to decide I should seek comfort to the greater power : God. Bended on my knees, ask for His help and comfort. I felt peace, no more hatred, no more anger and I have forgiven him. Other than that...I have accepted the pain, accepted he's not longer mine, accepted the break up...

This where the actually journey begins.....when letting go takes practice and patience.

It takes a minute to have crush someone and a day to love someone....
But it takes a life time to forget someone

Looking Back Over My Shoulder

It's been nearly one year the time we met. If I could put a song it would be like this "you came along just like a song"..* At that time, he was the answer to my prayers...everything was perfect picture.

Until one day, the first break up happened. I lost my grip, didn't know what to do beside crying and crying. I even had some dreams about me intruding his apartment, planned any nasty revenge and yet I missed him. I missed him A LOT!! And it made me pressed his number.

Although many against it, I decided to take his offer to be his girlfriend again and life was wonderful again...well not really there were ups and downs...I heart said to let go but my emotion still holding on to hopes, which was made it so difficult.

However, even I got the heartbreaking news, I was still miss him and kept the faith. The love didn't fade away that quick. Driven by unability to let go, I texted him again.

This March, my heart knows I couldn't take this anymore so we had a little fight then I left. I was suffocated with anger and hatred. Even the word " I hate you" popped out from my mouth. I have never said that word to him.

I cried exessively trying to let out this feeling..I felt useless, ugly and all negatives.....