Thoughts that written by ordinary woman who has been through lots in her life. There are the ups, the downs and the hurdles, but I manage. Through all that, I just lay my life to God. For the fun parts, I love dancing ( hip hop, street and LA style ), books, movies, eating, food, and just sleep!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Looking Back Over My Shoulder

It's been nearly one year the time we met. If I could put a song it would be like this "you came along just like a song"..* At that time, he was the answer to my prayers...everything was perfect picture.

Until one day, the first break up happened. I lost my grip, didn't know what to do beside crying and crying. I even had some dreams about me intruding his apartment, planned any nasty revenge and yet I missed him. I missed him A LOT!! And it made me pressed his number.

Although many against it, I decided to take his offer to be his girlfriend again and life was wonderful again...well not really there were ups and downs...I heart said to let go but my emotion still holding on to hopes, which was made it so difficult.

However, even I got the heartbreaking news, I was still miss him and kept the faith. The love didn't fade away that quick. Driven by unability to let go, I texted him again.

This March, my heart knows I couldn't take this anymore so we had a little fight then I left. I was suffocated with anger and hatred. Even the word " I hate you" popped out from my mouth. I have never said that word to him.

I cried exessively trying to let out this feeling..I felt useless, ugly and all negatives.....

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