Thoughts that written by ordinary woman who has been through lots in her life. There are the ups, the downs and the hurdles, but I manage. Through all that, I just lay my life to God. For the fun parts, I love dancing ( hip hop, street and LA style ), books, movies, eating, food, and just sleep!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

So, I've Been Told...

Yeap, I've been told by many people not to go back with him. Over him, leave whim or never ever come back to him! But then I always go back to him. I know my action just gives him extra ego boost.

My god..every minute passes, I miss him. Very hard to let go. I just want this feeling to go away and wish to find his replacement soon.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

One Year Later : Love Still Lingering And Still CraZY About YoU!

What do you know it's been 1 year that I know him. We broke up and make up. Until today, I have no idea what we are. It's sort of no string attach relationship.

Honestly, I still have huge feeling for him, a very huge..HUMONGOUS feeling! Does he has the same feeling as mine ? I'm pretty much hesitate about it.

Yeah..yeah I feel stupid having this kind of feeling and don't think I try. I tried to be out of love from him but my crush in the gym already has girlfriend and I haven't found anyone who can "rock my world".

Whenever I try to let go, I miss him again. I wrote the bad things about him so it's easier to let go but stilll...he's unfaithful, he doesn't love me the way that I love him, he's fussy and yet why do I have this feeling?

The only thing I can do is live my life regulary but I STILL MISS HIM! I know this is going nowhere. but I still keep the hope, the faith and persistent about this.

Whoooaaaaa...why am I still in love with him???????????? I wish he knew

YES Man!

Who would ever thought that Jim Carey's flick can be so inspirational. It's called Yes Man, a movie about a person who always says no to everything until he met his friend and invited him to his "yes" seminar. It changed him, he says yes to everthing and open him to new experiences.

This movie got me to another different perspective. I was asked to help making video documentary this Saturday. Seriously..I was ssooooo lazy. It was Saturday and I need some rest, not to think the place is far from my house. I'd rather at home sleeping.

But I said yes though, telling myself there would be something good come up. And..well..I was right! Everything was smooth and just like I'd expected things would be.

Glad to say yes, even it was hard to do it at first.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Count My Blessings

Today, I'm counted my blessings turn out my life is not so earth shattering anyway..
Here they are in random order :
  • Lifetime membership in one of hippiest gym in Indonesia and it was a gift from someone.
  • Nike outfits which I get them for free
  • Still able to hang out
  • I have two laptops
  • I have a job
  • I have family
  • A sister who is good in photoshop
  • Good friends
  • A pretty face perhaps...?
  • Have the ability to write

And still more on the list...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Fake It Until You Make It

"Fake it until you make it" heard and read this saying quite often when I was in brokenhearted mode. But then, I guess almost everyday I'm faking my emotion.

In the last few days, I've been faking how happy I'm about my friend's engagement. Well, frankly speaking..I was just being polite and nice, the real truth is I'm dang jealous! I'm surrounded with people who are getting married and I'm stuck in the middle. Thank God I have my iPod and laptop, so I can pretend playing with them or being busy with work.

Do I need to feel bad because being jealous? How can this negativity seems clinging over me ? Am I turning into a fake person?

I'm still dang in love with him and I'm faking that I'm not....
I pretend to be interested with the subject as if I'm not jealous..I'm faking it!!

Am I bad???

Sunday, April 19, 2009


An old song by ABBA which trickles me..I know money isn't everything but I guess it's everyone's dream..especially me..single,live far from work and gym..I do need money.
Perhaps not so wealthy, at least for taxis is fine...

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy manI wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball...
Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunnyIn the rich man's worldAha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
A man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind
Ain't it sad
And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me
That's too bad
So I must leave, I'll have to goTo Las Vegas or Monaco ( well I can't afford to go to these places )
And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same...

I Wish....

  • I wish to meet my soulmate, my last resort in relationship. No more painful and heartaching relationship.
  • I wish to live closer to my gym and work.
  • I wish Jakarta is like Singapore
  • I wish to be a writer

Monday, April 13, 2009

Je Suis Fatigue always been the same routine. Wake up at 4.30 AM,walk for 10 minutes to fetch the bus, move to different bus..after 1 hour, move to another bus then move to another one to get to office.

Reach work, only have 10 mintues to enjoy my breakfast before my students come for extra reading.

8AM : school starts until 1.40PM.

I'm tired...

Law of Attraction????

Been reading about law of attraction..umm....I guess I'm not ready to implement and not sure if it is the right thing. Still believe in praying to Allah the supreme power..
The right word is "ikhlas" means just let go. Something good will happen eventually...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I Miss You Babe...

As I look back on all that’s happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me — there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together.

As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow.

So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you’ll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold
I miss you......